Colors

There is a few things in life I've always been accused of. Anytime these certain accusations come around, my name will always be involved. It's definitely a good thing! Though it can cause some issues in my life. I am a fun person! I do fun things! I come up with fun ideas! Not to mention I am FUNNY! I'm happy and carefree and spontaneous. Things i don't mind being being blamed of at all.

At the office we've always talked about the Color Code Personality test. When issues or drama arises we often talk of the clashing of our different color personalities and how we need to learn to adjust to the way other colors handle certain situations.

Last summer, (i think) i took the test, knowing full well that i was a YELLOW. What i didn't realize is exactly how YELLOW i am. I had 27 YELLOW 11 whites 4 blues and 4 reds. I'm over the top YELLOW. Not necessarily a bad thing but, not a good thing either. Each of these colors come with their positive qualities and their negative qualities. So with my fun loving happy spontaneity comes noncommittal, unorganized undisciplined qualities. See the problem yet?

J. Adam Cleverley(Blue turned Red) always says that i make just enough money to be able to have fun, go to Provo, and go to the movies. I'm not disciplined to make the effort to make more money, cuz i don't need more money. (not sure how i feel about that! Who doesn't need more money?) But he saying i do just enough to get by cuz, working is not so fun, being responsible-not so fun. Fun is what i base everything on. (I've learned so much)

So about 2 weeks i was falling to pieces (not something that happens to me very often cuz again-not fun) I've been struggling with the responsibility at home with mom (reminder responsibility in yellows mind- not fun). I've always struggled with my purpose in life, where i am supposed to be, what I'm supposed to be doing. Yellow craves calmness, i jump from thing to thing, place to place to feel that temporary calmness. I've wanted to move out forever (reminder commitment-scary to yellows). I've been concerned with what people are thinking of me(yellows crave attention, they liked to be liked and they like to be notice).

Over the weekend i'd lost my fish, i had a flat tire,had to get new tires, then i found out i almost lost my apartment, i freaked and then the straw that broke my back, i cut my finger and was bleeding everywhere. I was done with life. I stormed in to Adams office and just stared him down. "What do you need?" He asked. Seriously i stood there trying to say something but i couldn't do it. He of coursed laughed at me cuz that's what everyone does. He said, "Am, spit it out."

I got kinda mad, "I can't! I have a hard time admitting that i need help." i yelled at him. (Not kidding)

He laughed again and said "Why? cuz you're invincible. You don't need help." Well duh! That's exactly it! Admitting that i need help shows that I'm weak and I'm not a weak person!

So he so very nicely said, "Amber, what can i do for you?" He had this annoying smirk on his face. Finally after sitting there for 2 full minutes i spit it out.

After the day was over we sat in his office and discussed a few things. We(actually HE) talked a lot about my yellow personality. We talked how it's ok to be yellow. But i need to try and develop some of the positive qualities of the other colors. There is nothing wrong with being fun and being motivated by fun but i also need to add some focus and discipline to my life and help discover who i am and where I'm going. At 27 i don't have a clue!

So i decided i was going to make and effort and be more charactered. I want to try and stop the negative yellow(and blue and white) qualities and create the positive red qualities. So i bought this book. It's the 2nd book to the Color Code Book called, Color Your Future. It supposed to help you enhance your life by using the Color Code.

I've been all excited hoping i was gonna be motivated to try and become better. So last week i was reading this book and there came a part where there was a page full of words. Just words.

I had to circle all the words (good and bad qualities) that characterized me MOST of the time. Then i had to ask 4 other people who i trust and who know me pretty well to do the same. The purpose of this is to be able to see how others perceive me. It was interesting.

Adam wanted to go over EVERY single word he circled and why and then talk about why i circled what i did. (PS he doesn't think i have any red qualities positive or negative. I totally disagree. I haven't told him that though!) It was an eye opener to really find out what people think of me. So far I've learned I'm not who i thought i was and the person i want to be even farther away than i could ever imagined. Being the yellow that i am i want to give up cuz seriously this adventure of discovering or creating who i really am... isn't so fun.

I decided that if I'm going to try and become better.. I'm in for the long haul (what the hell was i thinking? (yellow mind). So I'm trying to become better at being motivated, disciplined, focused, productive and decisive. Like i said, hasn't been too fun. It's actually been really hard. I'm not dedicated to anything. But i know that staying in this will help shape me into who i want to be and help me be successful in all aspects of life. So..

WISH ME LUCK!!!