Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Not So Happily Ever After... But thats ok...

Let’s take a moment and think about the movies we watch. I’m a believer that everything in life can be compared to FRIENDS (the TV show), Harry Potter, or the movies. I want you to think about the conflicts we see in the movies. Of course the first thing that comes to mind is a pair lovers who can’t keep their paws off each other, where if we watch long enough one of them admits something or insults the other and that unfortunately leads to a battle of stubbornness or a war of pride and ultimately …the breakup! They don’t want to be apart but neither one is willing to admit defeat, yet in the end they make up and live happily ever after.

We see it in every movie, whether the plot is entirely constructed around the “star crossed” lovers, or it’s a smaller event, wrapped up in a more complex theme, it’s there. Maybe it’s not a romantic relationship; it could be the immovable differences between siblings, a parent and a child, the arrogance between friends or coworkers, no matter the type of relationship the issues of stubbornness, pride, and conceit are there. I’m sure most of us experience them on a daily basis.

I don’t believe what we see in the movies is portrayed correctly, yet so many people think that the movies are REAL life. I think of Pride and Prejudice (The Kira Knightly one) and the scene where she so dramatically runs out of church and he follows her and they end up in a wicked argument, and before you know it they’re faces are inches away from one another and there is a moment where you think they might kiss and then… he walks away….that does not happen! Not in real life! When you are so angry at someone you don’t want to be near that person… and you defiantly don’t want to kiss them. There are several movies where a people are fighting and pleading their case as to why they screwed up or why they did what they did, and then again a moment, the moment of complete silence, the opportunity for apologies and forgiveness, and of course, they make up and live happily ever after.

How about the movie about guy and girl who are best friends, and have been for years? It is inevitable that one of these 2 people will fall for other and then endure pain and suffering of deciding whether or not to tell the other of their true feelings. When they finally can’t hold it in any longer things become awkward and uncomfortable, but in the end he/she see that only person they have ever truly loved is their best friend, and they live happily ever after.

THIS IS NOT REAL LIFE PEOPLE!!

There needs to be a happy medium here. In the real world, when people disagree they don’t say anything all to try and keep the peace or they windup saying too much and hurting people far deeper than intended... sometimes too deep for the wound to be healed.

What’s my point? Good question.

I guess I’m not surprised that the world is such a screwed up place. People watch movies, they read books and their expectations of what life should be is outrageous compared to what life really is. Those moments of silence in an argument, those moments where you should apologize or offer forgiveness, it doesn’t happen as often as it should, instead of yielding and admitting defeat, there is too much pride, too much hurt , and people walk way trying to hold on to their dignity. Not so happily ever after…

When you fall in love with your best friend and you finally tell them, it rarely turns out well. Both parties get hurt because it subsequently changes the entire dynamics of their relationship, everything is different. Not so happily ever after…

Why can’t people just say what they mean and leave it at that? When someone ticks you off, why can’t we just say in our nicest voice ever, “Hey you pissed me off… please don’t do it again.” Why instead do we say nothing at all, letting things fester, or yell every obscenity in the book at them? Is it really that difficult to say what you want or need?

Why instead of kissing someone in the kitchen and then running out the door can’t they just say, “Hey I’m in to you…?”

Why instead of playing 20 questions as to who is going to be there and what exactly is going to be going on, can’t they just say, “Ya know, that doesn’t sounds like fun” or “I really don’t want to go.”

Why can’t people just be honest…? It might sting a little for a bit, but I would prefer someone’s honesty, even if it’s going to hurt, than someone lying through their teeth save my feelings.


Life is not meant to be happily ever after, at least not the way the movies portray it. Be honest in what you say and what you do and your happily ever after will fall into place...


I’m just sayin…..

6 comments:

Jennifer said...

Awesome post Amber!! You are so right. I loved reading it!

But I am still a sucker for happily ever after movies. I get my fix from those when my own life is sucking it up. :)

Lemme said...

"When you fall in love with your best friend and you finally tell them, it rarely turns out well. Both parties get hurt because it subsequently changes the entire dynamics of their relationship, everything is different. Not so happily ever after…"
HELLO?!?!?!?!?! Do you know how my husband and I met?!?!?! This is a total lie!!!
And...EVERY argument we've had ends in hot steamy sex...
just sayin'
LOVE YOU FRIEND!!!

Klarice and Brian said...

AM, I believe you learned the key to communication. And Brian and I are 16(almost) years of married best friends, it hasn't been easy but friendships aren't easy either. I think you are a bit cynical about happily ever after. Just sayin!

Kaylene Whitten said...

Amber, Amber- There is such thing as happily ever after, but the problem is the movies never continue on. I do think life is like some movies, but it doesn't always last. You have the wrong idea of what happily ever after is. It doesn't mean you are happy for the rest of your life and you will never have anymore problems. Happily ever after means you found someone you can go through hardships with and still be happy. Movies show going through hardships and then ending with everyone happy. That is where a movie ends, but you are right in real life there will be problems again, but you can get back to happily ever after again. I can say in my life it has been like that. Michael and I have a disagreement. Sometimes we work it out quickly and sometimes it takes longer, but we always end up making up and living happily ever after. Disagreements will happen again. I feel like I'm living happily ever after.

Walk On said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Jensen Family said...

OK - I think everyone has ad a little bit too much happy gas. I agree there is no happily ever after in this world. It is the hope of something better and eternal in the next.