Purpose

I know! I know I really suck at blogging! I think that if I didn’t write in my journal every week I’d blog more! I think I only blog when I feel like I have something important to say.. And lets be
honest.. That rarely happens! =)

Anywho.. Recent events that have happened have made me take a step back and look at the
bigger picture.. The eternal perspective if you will!

A few weeks ago I was a dinner with a friend (Texas). We were laughing and arguing cuz
that’s what we do, when he paused and looked at me very seriously and said, “Amber, I have
started to feel really guilty about not going to church recently.” I laughed and said, “Yeah I
haven’t been the most dedicated either.. I don’t feel guilty though.” I smiled at him, he was truly
concerned. He asked me, “Why do you think that is? I’ve never felt guilty about this!” I sat back
and giggled a bit more and said “Ya know, if I were the one feeling guilty, I’d be a little
concerned. I would take it as a warning.”
“A warning?” He asked.
“Yeah...” I paused and looked around. “Maybe something is gonna happen. Something ‘faith-
shaking,’ and if you aren’t prepared spiritually, you might not be able to handle what is thrown
your way...”
“Amber, don’t say that...” He almost yelled. We sat in silence for a few minutes mulling over our
thoughts. Sometimes... I need to take my own advice, I assessed the damage of my recent
activities. Not just my non activity at church, but my lack of studying my scriptures, lack of
praying, and the nonexistence of service. I need to do better I thought.

A few day later, over the weekend I was in Firth. I very unwillingly decided to go to church. I
planned on only going to sacrament meeting and then going home and taking a nap. It was the
first time I’d been to church in.. I have no idea how long.. quite a while.

As always I took my journal to church. The Australian Open (Tennis) had just finished and I was
writing all about it.. (It wasn’t very exciting!) I began writing about Roger Federer. He’s an
incredible tennis player. Arguably the greatest tennis player ever. I wonder if he enjoys smashing peoples hopes and dreams. No one plays like him. He's flawless and unstoppable. He's misleading and conniving, He pushes you to the baseline, makes you rush from one end of the court to the other, makes you miss shots, hit shots into the net, he is a true master of tennis. He makes you lose faith in your ability to play.

As I was writing all of this in my journal, I realized that Roger Federer is very much like Satan.
(Don't get me wrong, I love Federer.. This is just an analogy) That's how Satan is in our lives. He
pushes and pushes until we can't run anymore. He fakes us out, he hits things at us so hard we
don't even see them coming, he’s treacherous, and a master at masking sin. Satan pushes us to
lose faith in our abilities and in who we are.

Three weeks later my life fell apart (for lack of a better term). It hasn’t been as dramatic as it
sounds but it has still been a rough situation. My roommate asked me to move out 2 ½ weeks
earlier than we originally planned. The place I’m supposed to be moving doesn’t become available until April 1st. She asked me to be out March 1st.

I have a very terrible temper... Horrible.. At that time, the best thing for me to do was, walk out
of the situation until I could be in control and be an adult about things. So I walked out the door
and got into my car, and drove.. fast... I called a friend, (a.k.a. Carlos, or Jake, or Jacob) who was
already in bed (it was 10:30 what a wimp). I hung up on him and Jessie called me.. She demanded that I pull over or at least slow down. I yelled at her and considered hanging up on her, when Carlos called back. I informed Jessie that he was calling me and she told me to answer it and go over to his house for a while until I could calm down. I told her no and then answered Carlos’ phone call anyway. With a lot of persuasion I ended up at his house.

I was angry.. livid... murderous... So The next day, I called a close friend of mine and asked for a
priesthood blessing. What an amazing night that was! And what a paradigm shift I had. I was
given such great counsel and was blessed with comfort and calmness.

My favorite thing I was told was, “You have been blessed with great friends, they are here to be a resource for you, use them, and lean on them for support.” I think this is the purpose of my blog.

Texas was feeling guilty about not going to church.. I wasn’t, but he made me think. I wonder
what would have happened if he hadn’t been feeling guilty, or had he not brought it up. He made
me take a step back and look at the decisions I was making, which encouraged me to go to
church that week and that opened my eyes to see how Satan was faking me out, tricking me and
masking my bad decisions.

It’s funny to look over time and see the people who come in and out of your life. I am not a
believer in coincidence. daily I wonder, why(and sometimes how) “Carlos” and I became
friends... what is his role supposed to be in my life and what is mine in his. Karissa, my bestie in
Cali, I hardly function without her. She is a support even though we are a thousand miles apart.
Jessie, I know I can call anytime for any reason and she will give me honesty whether I like it or
not! The Cleverley Clan, Lyssa, Lipgloss, Ky... and SO many others.. They have and continue to
play a significant role in who I am.

I believe there is a purpose for everyone who waltzes into my life. It’s funny, the ones who you think are crazy, end up being some of your closest friends, and those you think are going to stay with you forever, you end up losing touch with or they betray you and turn their back on you. Things never end up the way we plan, they way we think, or they way we hope.. But I think it’s important to look back and remember that there is purpose in why people are apart of our lives, even if it’s just a few moments, a few months, or a millennium, they were put there for a reason, whether for your benefit or theirs...

So let me end with saying I am so grateful for the support system I have in my life.. Some have
come and gone, some are coming and other are going, but I am grateful for love and support that
they give me everyday. Whether I am at my lowest of lows, or my highest of highs they are there enduring and sharing those moments with me!

SLACKER!!!

Yes.. Yes.. I know I'm a SLACKER!! (Sorry Margaret!!) So Here's what I'm going to do.. I'm going to up date the last.. what.. 3 months of my life.. Ok! Ready! Go! I have been so busy doing absolutely nothing! Done! HAHAHA I'm so funny!! Ok really!! Let's start with..

MY BIRTHDAY!! I had actually 3 parties.. I know how spoiled am i? Zak, Joey, and I all have birthdays right close together so we decided to have a birthday party all together before Jana and Matt headed to Moscow.

In Case we ever need proof, we are a legal document.

Then i went with my girls! It was a blast! The only thing that would have made it better would have been if Karissa would have been there! And Jana too! We missed you both! BUT the day over all was great! We went to the movie WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE, i wouldn't recommend it.. it was boring and long and disappointing, then we went to Texas Roadhouse. Thanks for dinner Jessie! It was so good! We headed back to my apartment and opened presents and had cake.. My cake had a ORANGE LLAMA on it! Yeah i know right!! A ORANGE LLAMA! I wish we could have got my reaction on video. I was clapping and jumping up and down and yelling.. It was a great great moments! I totally raked it in present wise too.. I have such great friend!!

Em was hoping it was her Prince..
It wasn't! ;)

Waiting at T. Roadhouse

Yeah.. This is my STELLAR cake!! So freaking AWESOME!!!

A tennis racket for the tennis class I'm taking!!

I wish I actually got him and not just the bag!
He is now my candy dish..

I love my Friends!!

Then cuz I'm spoiled i decided that everyone should bring they're own steak and we could have a BBQ for my birthday! Klarice made Zak and I cakes.. I love birthdays!!

How awesome is this cake?? I'm so loved!!

I love to read..

I have to share my new favorite book. A client of mine told me about it and i couldn't wait to pick it up. It is a book called The Hunger Games by Susanne Collins. AMAZING! It's consider a young adult book but i think anyone would fall in love with this book. I'm not sure if it's a 3 or 4 book series (I know annoying) the 2nd book called Catching Fire just came out a few days ago and I'm about half way through it.. It moves so quickly.. that's one of my favorite things about it. With my horrible luck it will be made into a movie soon. Keep Your fingers crossed it won't! =)
Here's what The Hunger Games is about..

In the ruins of a place once known as North America lies the nation of Panem, a shining Capitol surrounded by twelve outlying districts. The Capitol is harsh and cruel and keeps the districts in line by forcing them all to send one boy and one girl between the ages of twelve and eighteen to participate in the annual Hunger Games, a fight to the death on live TV. Sixteen-year-old Katniss Everdeen, who lives alone with her mother and younger sister, regards it as a death sentence when she is forced to represent her district in the Games. But Katniss has been close to dead before-and survived. Katniss is smart, athletic, and fast. She can take down a rabbit with a bow and arrow, hitting it straight through the eye. Will these skills be enough to survive the Hunger Games?

Run out to your local library or better yet, Barns and Nobles, or Borders cuz I'm pretty sure you are gonna want to own it!!

Adventures at my Window

I've been terrible at blogging! I'm sorry! I'll try and do better.. Honestly nothing that exciting really happens in my life that is blog worthy.. I've been trying to think of a funny story that would make everyone laugh... so.. here it goes.

A few weeks ago i was having trouble sleeping. Nothing that is a big deal, every once in a while i have a hard time falling asleep. I laid out on my couch and read a book until i felt like sleep might be an option. I crawled into my bed and opened my window and cracked the blinds just a touch so the cool air could get through.

My bedroom window is at ground level and faces an ally. People think I'm crazy that i sleep with my window open, but it seriously gets hot.. I can't sleep if it's hot. Since having it open over the summer i have learned a few things. At 11:30 on the dot a guy takes his dog for a walk. He's out about 10 mins sometimes, but rarely 15 mins and then walkes back by. At 1:30am another someone walks by my window.. I have never had the guts to look out and see if it's a guy or a girl so I've made up own story about it. I call him Roy, he loves motorcycles and every night at 1:30 he makes his way to the Bott Yamaha store just a few blocks down from our apartment, to drool over and pine for the bikes he knows he cannot afford. He's a father of 2, him and his ex wife just couldn't make it work. But he's happy living a quite simple life..

For all you who think I'm crazy and are asking the question, "What if someone decided to break through the screen and attack you in the night?" Have no fear, a few years ago my beloved CousinKristi gave me a very cute lamp with flip flops on it, it's pretty heavy duty and without a doubt i could crack anyone's skull who decided to jump through my window.

Anyways, so this night i couldn't sleep. I crawled in bed hoping that I'd fall into a deep slumber. As i laid there i heard Roy walk by, I'd been laying there for a while so i decided to pull out my book again. Finally a half hour later i was starting to doze. I flipped off my light of and let sleep take me over.

Ya know that point when you are sleeping, where you're almost a asleep but not quite? Yeah, i was there, the gray matter of asleep yet still awake, when i heard, water running. Running outside my window.. I propped myself up, and thought, 'Is there a water spicket thingamajig outside my window? .....I don't think so.........' So listen a little bit longer and it dawned on me. There is a telephone pole just outside my window. Without a doubt, i knew there was some guy who couldn't hold it any longer and pulled over behind a gas station, in front of my window to pee. As sat there on the verge of laughing, i debated whether to scare this guy to death, to get mad and yell at him, or just leave him be -cuz, Who am i to interrupt a man and his business. Just as i decided that scaring him was the best and funniest option, the water stopped running, i heard a door slam and the car drive off. A little puzzled and amused i turned my light back on and read until sleep became my friend again...

The next morning around 8 A.M. i was curled up nice and cuddly in my warm bed. When I heard, "WHATEVER CHRIS, I READ THE TEXT MESSAGE! I KNOW YOU'VE BEEN SCREWING AROUND WITH HER!" Very unwillingly and a little irritated i popped my head up, glanced out my window and listen to this strange woman. "YOU BEAT ME CHRIS! YOU BEAT ME! I DON'T CARE THAT YOU WERE DRUNK! I'M GONNA TAKE MY SON DOWN THE POLICE STATION AND HE'S GONNA TELL ON YOU! HE'LL SAY, 'CHRIS HIT MY MOMMA.' HE SAW YOU." Again i was faced with a dilemma. Should i say something to this chick, or just listen. It was 8 freaking A.M. on a Saturday. No one should be up yet. "Chris, why do you do this to me?" She started to whine. "I can't believe you'd do that to me." It sounded like she was crying. Then outta no where she started yelling at the top of her lungs again. "DON'T YOU TALK TO ME THAT WAY!! I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU'RE INTERESTED IN HER.. SHE'S SO UGLY. WHAT IS UP WITH YOUR TASTE IN WOMEN?"

"Doesn't say much about you there does it honey." i mumbled to myself and smiled. She turned and stared at my window for a few seconds and then started to walk way. I must admit, i was sad to see her go, i was on the edge of seat waiting to hear the final outcome of this tragic battle.. It was my very own soap opera outside my very own window...

When it's your own window is it still considered rude to eaves drop?! Just curious...

What not to SAY..

Here is a picture of my roommate Emile and I. This was taken about 2 weeks ago before we headed out to a singles dance (barf). We're both looking pretty good! I had just gotten home from camping that evening so i was tired but Em convinced me to go the dumb dance. Totally not important.



Last Sunday, Chris and Renee blessed their new baby Cameron Tate. He's so cute!! He's growing up too quick already! Em decided to go with me to the blessing. It was a 9:30 in St. Anthony. I was pretty sure I'd been to their church before, but i called Renee and got directions just in case. I knew exactly where i was going. So i thought. We got there 20 minutes early so we took a short nap in the car then headed in. 5 minutes before church started i realized no one from my family was there and clearly we were in the wrong church. Needless to say i was IRATE. 20 minutes early to the wrong church.. really?!? I was tired and hungry (fast Sunday) and i had no clue where to go! Finally i figured it out and We walked into the chapel just as the blessing ended! I was LIVID! So i sat there through Sacrament meeting fuming. I made comments to Em here and there, i was so frustrated i couldn't even write in my journal. As time went on my attitude soften, but i was still mad. The closing song was 'How Great Thou Art' (I love that song) so i was defiantly feeling better!

After the closing prayer i stood up and this lady turned around to me. She was wearing a black and red silk blouse with a black skirt. She said to me, "I don't believe I've met you before, What is your name?" Of course the first thing i think is Amber, why can't you keep your dumb mouth closed and not draw attention to yourself?!? I smile as nicely as i can considering my mood, and say to her, "I"m Chris' sister Amber." She looked at me puzzled, "Chris?" How many Chris's are there really?! "Chris Tucker, the Chris of Chris and Renee Tucker." The light bulb flickered on, "Oh Chris, I just love him i used to work at the school with him." I smiled and nodded in all the right places and oh and ah-ed for her. Then she pointed at Emile and said, "So is this your daughter?" What are you kidding me? MY DAUGHTER?!?!?! Really?!? I look like i could have a 30 year old?!?! I blurted out, "She's my roommate." The lady felt very embarrassed and quickly changed the subject to how great Chris and Renee are.. Really?! Really?! Emilie is 2 1/2 years older than me... We're the same age!! My daughter!?! I was not in a mood to be trifled with.. Really?!?! Are you kidding me?! I just walked away. She was very lucky we were in church.. Pretty sure she wouldn't be alive had that been said anywhere else. You would think the PINK streak in my hair would have tipped her off..

Later at dinner as I retell this tale to my family, my dear sister Jana says to me, "Well Amber, maybe it's that gray hair you have." Talk about kicking my while I'm down!

I've made a decision. I'm cutting my hair.. and coloring it!

My Sanctuary

The greatest place in the world is near Leadore, Idaho. You drive down 18 mile road for about 4 or 5 miles( really i don't have a clue how far you drive) and you find the most beautiful camp spot. It's at the base of a mountain and a creek name Hawley runs through it! It's amazing! I was there for 4 days last week. I could live there forever.. except the winters.. and when i ran outta food.. so i could live there for a short time!

This is my very organized tent.. it stayed that way the WHOLE TIME!!

I decided that i would pick out one thing that happened each day that was my favorite and blog about it!

Day One: Was Tuesday night. Last year, i took my dad's lantern. I accidentally broke the glass when i pulled it out to check it and make sure it was OK before i left. So i bought another one. 8.88 at Wal-Mart. When i got to my glorious campsite last year.. i somehow broke the glass on Chris' lantern so, i gave him the glass from mine. So this year.. I bought a new glass to replace what i broke last year. I was so excited to be there and very proud that i could light my lantern by myself. As i pulled the lantern from my car, i noticed too late that it wasn't latched just right and CRASH the lantern fell out of it's casing and yep, you guess it the glass broke! At the time i was not happy, but i didn't curse!!

Day Two: I love to fish! I catch em and let em go! That's how i do things. The fishing this year was AWFUL! I usually catch anywhere between 20-30ish fish in just a few days time. Chris usually caught 40-60 fish. I remember one year he caught 65 fish! Yes we let most of them go! Anywho... Chris very kindly kicked my air mattress Wednesday morning and asked if i wanted to go to Big Bear Creek. Of course said yes and hopped up chipper as can be that i was awake. We fished and failed... nobody caught a thing. We were walking back up to Chris' truck and he got the great idea to try and catch some grasshopper, thinking that the fish might bite at them. So here is a grown man of 36ish yrs old running and hopping around in big black rubber boots and stomping like a 5 yr old trying to catch "hoppers" as he so juvenilely (i know that's not a word!)put it. Sadly i didn't have my camera!

Also on Wednesday my parents came up. So we took this picture in front of the outhouse to send to John V and tell him "IT STINKS NOT HAVING YOU HERE!" Oh what clever and witty people we are. Kaylene took the picture with her camera by setting it on timer.. so i thought it would be funny to take a picture of her trying to haul bootie up the hill so she was in the picture too.. I must say.. i did a pretty dang good job! =)

Day Three: I was supposed to leave this day and not come back, so Toddly and i hiked halfway up this mountain next to "Indian Rock" (a rock that looks like an Indian's profile). To take pictures of our camp. IT took us about 5 minutes to actually get up there. I paused for a moment to truly take in God's country.. It was breath taking. These pictures do not do it justice!

Hyrum liked hanging out with Hawley the dog (Todd and Cody's dog).
He did everything she did!

The rest of these are just a few snap shots! I love the mountains! I love the rolling hills! I love the earth!

Jason fishing! Again fishing was awful!
Oh Boy was it DIRTY!!!!
Ike had enough after 4 days in the wilderness!!
I couldn't get enough of it! I was sad i had to come home and shower!
How cute are these faces?!?!

I LOVE CAMPING!!!!

Too Funny!

I love the song Hey There Delilah! Here is Mormon style: I'm at the MTC! Enjoy! It made my night!!